Not Good Enough
by laxwriter
Summary: There were three adults in her life that mattered, three different people who should have seen but didn't. Now they must come to terms with their blindness. Is it too late to help a drowning girl?


A/N First story! Started writing this back in the beginning of the season when I was trying to figure out what the writers were doing to Quinn. Always loved Quinn, she's the most complex character on the show, so many sides. Any way disclaimer time. I own nothing. Everything Glee and all the characters are property of FOX and the creators/producers of the show (e.g. Ryan Murphy).

Warning: contains self harm.

**Not Good Enough**

It amazed Judy Fabray as she walked through the threshold into McKinley high, that she'd actually never been to the school before. Three years her daughter had attended this school and the closest Judy had ever gotten to entering its hallowed halls was sitting in the stands to watch Quinn cheer at her first football game. She hadn't attended any normal cheer events after that, how different could they possibly be. Actually she'd only attended two other cheer competitions, Quinn's first competitive competition and Nationals that freshman year. Judy had seen exactly two Glee competitions as well, the first at the end of sophomore year when she had gathered the courage to go retrieve her daughter after months of no contact, then Junior year when Quinn had sung the lead duet for the first competition that year. Again what was the point of going, how different could they be, especially if Quinn was only backing up that brunette girl, Rachel Berry. Now as she walked through the semi quiet halls, noise leaked from the full classrooms, Judy wished she'd attended every competition cheer or Glee that Quinn had ever been in. Hindsight was the best at making anyone feel guilty. What made Judy feel even guiltier was that despite all the so called trouble that Quinn had brought, Judy had never once been called to the school to see a teacher or the Principal because of Quinn's behavior or grades. On that fact alone, that Quinn had never been in serious trouble at school, despite her daughter's own claims of being a bully in her first year or so, proved that Quinn was not and had never been a bad kid. Yes Quinn had made some mistakes, but who hadn't, and yet Quinn had been labeled by Lima society as a delinquent. The worst part was the Judy had agreed with society for a long time, and perhaps continued to think that way for too long, or hadn't done enough to convince her daughter that she did not think of Quinn as a bad person.

Judy's shoulders sagged with her failures as a mother, failures she wasn't sure she'd ever get to rectify. Finding the Principal office somehow, and slipped in just as the bell for the end of the period rang and the halls filled with yelling teenagers.

"Can I help you?" The secretary asked looking up from her computer.

Judy nodded, "Yes, I am Judy Fabray and I need to talk to Principal Figgins, it's very important and can't wait.

The secretary nodded before pointing to the chairs across from her. A moment later an Indian looking man came up to her. "Mrs. Fabray, I am Principal Figgins, how can I help you?"

Judy stood, "Could we talk in private, this concerns my daughter, Quinn." The man nodded and Judy took a deep breath before entering the room and having a conversation she never thought she'd ever have.

* * *

><p>Will Schuester entered his choir room after being given a note by Principal Figgins to report there immediately. He was surprised to see Shelby there, as well as every current and former member of New Direction. "Will what's going on?" Shelby asked him coming up.<p>

"Yeah Mr. Schue, why'd you call us out of class?" Puck asked from his seat next Finn.

"Um I didn't. I don't know what is going on, I was told by Principal Figgins to come here." The door opened again and Sue Sylvester sauntered in. "Will this had better be good, I don't like being summoned by your Brillo pad self."

Will bit back the retort he that came to his mind. He was trying very hard to not stoop to Sue's level in order to be a better example his students. The insults had gotten increasingly worse over the last few weeks, and now with Santana being outed on public television, things were just getting worse. "I didn't call you here."

"What then why am I here?"

The door to the choir room opened for a third time and Principal Figgins walked in. "I called you all here." Principal Figgins said somberly. "Sue, Will, Shelby if you could take a seat with the students please." Will didn't question Figgins and neither did Shelby or surprisingly even Sue. There was just something in Figgin's voice that made Will realize something serious was going on.

"I just got out of a rather unexpected and sad meeting with a parent. She brought me some upsetting news, and now she wishes to talk to you all. I want you all to listen to her, do not interrupt, and keep questions until she has finished. She is very upset and I imagine this will be very hard for her. After she has left, Miss. Pilsbury will be available for any of you who need to talk too."

Will had no clue what was going on but he felt his chest tighten. He watched as Figgins went to the door and let someone in. It was a very well dressed blonde woman that Will instantly recognized as Judy Fabray, Quinn's mom. Will's heart dropped, and his whole body turned and he searched each of his student's faces, Quinn was not among them. His students who had been murmuring after Figgins words were now dead silent, each knowing who the woman was. Several were looking around as Will had. Will felt someone death grip is hand, turning back and down he realized it was Shelby.

"Um, I think most of you know me, but I'll introduce myself anyway, I am Judy Fabray, Quinn's mom." Her voice sounded worn, tired, and devastated, her eyes, which were a darker shade of hazel than Quinn's, were lined with red and dark circles, it was clear the woman hadn't slept in days.

"Where's Quinn?" Will wasn't sure who had asked, but he watched as Judy's eye's closed at her daughter's name.

"I said to leave questions to the end." Figgins warned in a stern tone that Will had never heard before.

Judy turned to the Figgins and gave him a small smile that reminded Will of the one that graced Quinn's face constantly. "It's fine Mr. Figgins. Perhaps you should get Miss. Pillsbury now. Fill her in."

"Are you sure you're fine here, alone Mrs. Fabray."

"Yes, thank you for your concern." Figgins nodded before leaving quickly. Judy turned back to the two clubs. "Um, I don't really know where to begin. First I, I guess I never really thanked any of you for what you did for Quinn when she was pregnant. When I and her father spectacularly let her down, you were all here for her. And I guess, I just took for granted that you all had this amazing bond and that you'd always be there for Quinn, be what she needed when I wasn't or couldn't. I see now that I put too much faith in all of you, not to your fault, your teenagers; it's my own fault that I didn't realize that friendships change and fall apart, especially in high school. I mean that fact that you are now two glee clubs is proof of that." The fear in Will increased with each of Judy's words.

"And I thought, I thought you'd all gotten through to her when she changed back into her normal clothes and dyed her hair back to blonde. I was so grateful. She'd been so lost all summer, I'd been so scared," Judy shook her head, a tear coming down her cheek, "I'd wake up twice a night just to make sure she was still there, breathing." Audible gasps followed these words. "I didn't know how to fix her; she closed down so tight, refused my suggestion of seeing a therapist. Then a few weeks into school, it was like she was back, even if it was just the tiniest bit. She'd actually smile at me sometimes. I should have seen the façade, but I didn't, none of us did. I let my guard down to early." Shelby's grip on Will's hand increased, he knew she knew what was coming just like he did, but he prayed he was wrong. He prayed that he hadn't miss judged Quinn Fabray as badly as her mother's words were suggesting.

"On Saturday night after I got home from work, I…" Judy looked away and rubbed her eyes and tears fell quickly down her face, "I found Quinn in her bathroom, she'd she'd slit her wrist." Cries and gasps echoed of the walls, whispered nos escaped lips, Shelby's hand nearly broke Will's. Shock filled Will. Quinn Fabray had committed suicide. He didn't know how to process this information. It didn't add up. The strong head cheerleader, who had held her head up high during her entire pregnancy, who'd rebounded the following year so amazingly, couldn't wouldn't have done such a thing. Then he thought of the pink haired punk who'd confronted him in his office that first week of school. Who'd accused him of ruining her life. God he wanted to hit himself, how could he not of seen that it had all been a desperate plea for help. That she'd only been their because of a manipulative Sue and need for someone to see beyond her façade. No he hadn't seen it, he'd just yelled at her, called her selfish, told her to grow up.

"I," Will looked up, Judy was talking again, "I tried to stop the bleeding the best I could as I called 911. They rushed her to the emergency room. The doctors said I got there just in time to save her life, but that she'd lost a lot of blood, that she'd stop breathing as well, and well, she's in a coma right now." Judy stared them all in the eyes now. "They don't know when she'll wake up, if ever, and if she does wake they don't know what the damage to her brain will be."

And there it was. Quinn had tried to commit suicide, failed, but was now in a coma that she may or may not ever wake up from. Will shook his head. This could not be happening.

"So she's alive?" Puck's voice was thick with grief.

"Yes, but like I said she's in a coma. We don't really know anything."

"Why? Why'd she do it?" Santana stared at the floor as she asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Um, I have my theories, but well," Judy looked at her bag and pulled out two letters. Will instantly knew what they were. "She, she left three letters. I, I haven't read mine, yet. I don't really know how. I know I need too, whether she pulls through or not, I need to know what she was thinking that made her think her last option was death, but I haven't had the strength. I struggled with whether I should share these with you. Part of me doesn't want your opinion of her to change because of what you read, in case she pulls through, but then again maybe all of our opinion's about Quinn need to change if we are to help her. And if she doesn't make it," Judy's voice catches here, "you were all her friend at least at some point in time even if you aren't anymore, and you deserve to know what she had to say to you all. So I leave it up to you, whether you read them or not. All I ask is, if she does pull through this. If she does wake up and there isn't any brain damage, that that you all be here for her. That you don't judge her too harshly. That you put aside your differences with her, your problems, your arguments, and just be there for her. I need my daughter, I can't lose her, so I'm asking that you help me heal her, if we get the chance too." Judy was hysterically crying now. She quickly walked to Will and handed him a letter that had Glee written in Quinn's neat handwriting, then she walked up the dais and handed the second letter to Puck. She headed towards the door before stopping and turning, "I'll let you know if anything changes." Then Judy Fabray was gone. The room was silent save the muffled cries. Will looked at the letter in his hands; he could barely feel it there. In fact his whole body felt numb. Standing he turned to his students. They were all in as much shock as he was. He was their teacher and he had no clue how to help any of them with this. Rachel was sobbing into Finn's chest as the boy loosely held her, his face blank as he stared across the room, a lone tear running down from his cheek. Similarly Brittney was crying into Santana who was rubbing the blonde's back, though Santana was crying just as hard. Mike had pulled a silent Tina into his lap as they hugged one another. Kurt held Mercedes and Blaine hugged Kurt, all three crying though Mercedes was the worst. Rory sat to the side not crying, but he looked visibly upset. Artie had his face in his hands and his shoulders moved slightly as he tried to cover his grief. Then there was Puck who looked as if he wanted to trash the entire choir room, his face filled with anger, fear, and grief. Will had never seen the self-proclaimed bad boy cry, but a river on constant tears slide from pained brown eyes. Glancing at his fellow teachers he saw Sue staring straight ahead, her face emotionless, but her eyes filled with so much emotion that Will had to look away. Though Sue didn't show it or say it, everyone knew Quinn was Sue's favorite cheerio, save Becky, in years. Sue felt she'd connected with the blonde, and maybe they had, Will didn't know. When Will looked at Shelby he didn't know what to think of here reaction, she wasn't crying but her body was stiff and she stared at the floor as if she wanted it to eat her.

Will moved his eyes to the letter in his hand, should he read it to them? Part of him screamed no, but the other part knew he had too. He also knew he had to make the decision for his students, they were in no place too. Will heard the door creak open and he knew it was Emma. He wanted to rush over and hug her, kiss her, but he couldn't right now, the students needed him. Gently he broke the seal.

"what are you doing?" yelled Mercedes.

"You all, we all need to know." Will said. No one fought this. Will pulled out the letter and opened it. Taking a deep breath he began to read out loud.

" To my dearest friends, The New Directions and Mr. Shue. If you're reading this, I've finally done what I'd been thinking about doing for months now and I am sorry for that. I know many of you will feel I am a coward for taking this route, and maybe I am, but I just can't take it anymore. The numbness, it's too horrible. Remember when you asked me if I felt anything anymore Finn? The answer is no, and I haven't for a very long time. One would think that pain, the heart gripping pain, would be the hardest to handle, to push you over the edge, but it's not. Pain is a welcome relief to pure numbness. How I wish I could feel pain again. Perhaps I could go on if I felt that pain again. Oh how I'd welcome the suffocating pain with open arms. But that is not really what I want to write about to you. What I want the most is to apologize, apologize for every mean glare, bitchy insult, indifferent brush off, and vindictive slushy thrown. I was a horrible person, and I am sorry for all the pain I caused you all. You all helped me when I needed you the most, and what did I bring to you? Pain and humiliation. You were right Mr. Schue, all I ever cared about was myself, and all I ever did was tear down the people who just wanted to help me. No thanks; just just I don't know what. One of my biggest regrets is letting you down Mr. Schue. You tried to show me what it was to be a good person to live a good happy life. I failed you, I didn't learn the lessons you tried to teach me. I am so sorry, and know you are the best teacher I ever had. I thank you for everything you ever did for me, even yelling at me and telling me to grow up. You were right, I just couldn't do it. A little advice, don't let go of Miss. Pillsbury, you're great together and I can tell how much you love each other. When I originally thought about giving up Beth, all I could think was she needed a good dad, that a girl needs a good dad, and I wanted her to have dad like the one I knew you'd be. That is why I went along with Terri's crazy plan for so long, because I thought it was worth it if Beth had you as a father. I am sorry for the heartache that caused you as well." Will paused, overcome with emotion. Quinn had wanted him to be the father of her child. That meant more to him then Quinn would ever know. Shaking he continued to read. "To my fellow glee clubbers, like I said I am sorry. I've only been good at two thing, messing things up royally and hurting people. I've done both to you all. I don't know how to fix any of the things I did but I will leave you all with a little advice too. Forget this feud, we have possibly the most talented Glee club in the Nation and we let our own jealousies and insecurities get in the way, break us up. Rachel and Mercedes your both incredible singers, but in different ways; there are different songs that complement each of your strengths. Recognize this. You're both soloist, but you don't always need to be. Sometimes the best you can do for the team is be the foundation the support. No routine is successful without a strong foundation, Coach taught me that. We can use it in Glee. Join back together guys; this is your year to get it right. Shelby is a great coach and I am sure Mr. Schue would love to have her as a co-coach. Wow I can only imagine how amazing you guys would be then. Please tell Coach Sylvester, that she is an amazing cheer coach, but that she doesn't need to be so mean, so controlling. That what makes her so good at her job is her knowledge of the sport and her unique vision. It's not too late to change her methods or her reputation at this school. In know she is an amazing person underneath, she just needs to let that shine through, and I know she'll win a million more national championships, and these will feel even better because she'll have won with a team that respects her rather than fears her. Also tell her I said to lay off the Glee club. And if she doesn't S, I've got plenty for blackmail sitting in my room. I guess that is all I have to say. I know I haven't explained my reasons very well, but that is because I don't really know how, and none of it has anything to do with any of you. You were great friends that I took for granted. Lucy Quinn Fabray is and has always been a screw up, has never been good enough, not for her parents, not for school, not as head cheerleader, not as friend, and certainly not as a mother. But you all made Quinn feel as if she was good enough to be a gleek even if it was for just a little while. So thank you for that. And finally S, B love you and don't be afraid to love each other with all your hearts, you deserve to be happy and to be together. Once again I am sorry I couldn't be a better person for you all, a better friend. Love Lucy."

No one spoke as Will finished the letter. It was not what he'd expected. In one letter, Quinn, had showed everyone who she really was, and the girl was beautiful and amazingly broken. Will wished he'd known this girl, not that he didn't like the Quinn who'd he'd taught for three years, but this Quinn was special. Will guessed Quinn had always been the girl in the letter, he knew he'd had glimpses of her, he just wished she'd come around more often, that Quinn hadn't been so insecure that she felt she had lock away her true self. It must be so difficult to pretend to be something you aren't, to live up to expectations you think you have too, to be so ashamed of yourself. Obviously it was because Quinn had tried to take her life.

Will felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to see a teary eyed Emma. He instinctively wrapped her in his arms and gave a sob. "Shh, I've got you." She whispered in his ear. Movement altered Will to the fact that he and Emma weren't alone. He saw Puck quickly leave with Shelby following him. The others were just staring at the two who exited. Emma stepped away and shifted back into the guidance counselor she was trained to be. "I am here to listen to you all if you need to talk. I know this must be so hard for you all. Quinn is a major part of all your lives. I've talked to Mr. Figgins all your parents have been called, your excused from school for the rest of the day and tomorrow. If you'd like to talk before your parents come to get you, then I am here, or you can wait until you return to school. Just know that I am here, as are Mr. Schue, Coach Sylvester and the rest of the staff. Please talk to us, or at the very least each other. We all need each other now." That was so true, if anything right now the Glee club had to stick together. Will had to talk to Shelby about joining the two clubs, but he'd leave that for later, he assumed she and Puck had much to discuss, if anything this effected them, and poor little Beth the most.

* * *

><p>Shelby caught up to Puck at his car. Her mind was reeling from all she'd just heard, from Judy Fabray's announcement about Quinn attempting suicide to listening to Quinn's letter to the Glee club. The girl who wrote that letter was so different from the Quinn Shelby thought she knew. So different from the girl that Shelby had banned from seeing Beth that Saturday. Oh god the same Saturday that Quinn attempted suicide. Shelby wasn't stupid, not being able to see Beth had been the last straw for Quinn. Shelby had known Quinn was hurting, it was clear by her punk transformation, she just hadn't realized how broken the biological mother of her daughter had been.<p>

"Puck, stop please." Shelby called out. He didn't listen he just jumped into his car. Shelby ran and got in the passenger side. She grabbed the keys before he could put them in the ignition. "You're in no condition to drive." She said seriously.

"And Quinn's in no condition to do anything." Puck slammed his hand on the steering wheel, "Fuck." Shelby just sat there and let him yell and curse for what felt like an hour but was probably only for a few minutes. Shelby couldn't imagine what Puck was feeling right now. She was breaking inside with grief and guilt and Shelby had an idea that Puck was feeling ten times worse than she was.

When he'd stopped yelling Shelby saw him take out the letter Judy had given to him. He gently ran his fingers along its edges. Shelby was frightened of what the letter contained. She was scared to hear what could possibly be Quinn's last words to the boy who was the father her baby. "Are you going to read it?"

Puck turned to her. His eyes red with tears; "Quinn came to you Saturday didn't she?" It was more of statement than a question. Shelby nodded, "yes."

"What did you say to her?" He wasn't looking at her, rather he was watching the rain drops that had begun to fall as they landed on the windshield of his truck and slid down. Shelby couldn't help to think of how they looked like the tears that had slid down nearly everyone's faces in Glee club. "I banned her form seeing Beth." Shelby said quietly.

Puck's face dropped to the steering wheel, "this is all my fault." He murmured, but Shelby heard him. "No." Shelby yelled and grabbed his face so he was looking at her. If anything it was her fault for dismissing the girl without even trying to get an explanation for Quinn's actions. "No, you didn't do anything. Quinn made this decision, she did this not you."

Puck shook from her grasp. "No I should of known she'd do something like this. I should never have told you the truth. I knew what you'd do, that you'd take Beth from her, but I didn't care, because I was still getting to see Beth, and I had a crush on you. I had this picture of a family in my head, you, me and Beth, and Quinn wasn't even a thought. How horrible is that. Quinn is the one who carried Beth for near nine months, the one who walked around with the visual reminder of that drunken night, the one who was ostracized because of one night, and I didn't even think of her being a part of the family I had in my head. Screw all the pain and torture Quinn went through to give life to Beth, as long as I had you and Beth I was happy. God she didn't even want to have sex that night, but I got her drunk, I convinced her it was okay. She asked about protection and I told her to trust me, and she did." He was crying harder now, "I failed her so many times. I got her pregnant when she trusted me not too, I sexted and flirted with other girls when I told her I want to be a family with her, I told her I loved her and then I ignored her for a year." He looked up and stared at Shelby in the eyes, "She told me she felt she had nothing. That she'd screwed up so much that she had nothing left to live for. She told me that Beth was all she had left. That Beth was the one thing she'd ever done right, that Beth was the only person that could love her, that Beth was the one thing she couldn't mess up. And ignored her words, I just thought she was being over dramatic. Shelby she basically told me she had nothing left to live for if she lost Beth."

Shelby didn't know how to reply to what she'd just heard. It was just another piece of the puzzle that was Quinn Fabray. The more pieces she gathered the more she saw that Quinn hadn't meant to hurt her or Beth that Quinn hadn't been just trying to steal back Beth because Quinn had changed her mind. No Quinn had felt she needed Beth to live. Quinn Fabray was broken perhaps beyond repair and Shelby suspected that Quinn had broken long before Beth had even been conceived but that Beth's conception and adoption had been the hammer that had shattered the girl completely and then Shelby had tossed the pieces of Quinn into the wind never to be brought together again, when she'd told Quinn that she couldn't see Beth again.

Shelby sighed, "You need to read it Noah."

"I know." Breaking the seal with his little finger Puck pulled the letter out and opened it, "It's addressed to both of us."

Shelby wasn't surprised. "Do you want me to read it?"

"No." Taking a deep breath he began, "To Noah and Shelby. Other than my mother I owe you both the biggest apology and explanation. Shelby, I am so sorry for what I did. I was wrong to try and frame you; I just didn't know what to do. I felt so lost and numb, the only time I felt anything even if it was the pain of loss, was when I thought of Beth. Then you showed me a picture of her, and I felt a sliver of joy for the first time since I gave her up. I so desperately wanted that feeling back, and I did get it back when I babysat Beth that one time. I couldn't let it go, I needed to feel it all the time, and the only way I knew that would happen would be to have Beth with me all the time. But you were right, a true mother, a good one, puts their feelings second, they do what is best for their child, and I wasn't doing that. I wanted to feel happy again and I didn't think about what the consequences for Beth would be. I am fixing that now, what is best for her is to have you as her sole mother, I'll only hurt her, so I am stepping out, permanently. At least this way she'll know I am not around not because I didn't love her, but because I am gone. She won't have to wonder like Rachel, and I know that is what you wanted Shelby. Puck, Noah, I don't know what to say to you. You deserve so much more than an apology. I was horrible to you during the pregnancy, and not letting you step up from the beginning is one of my greatest regrets. I should have let you be Beth's father from the beginning. I'd say I should of listened to you and kept Beth, but I can't, I am terrible mother, as the past few months have proved, and though I have no doubt you'd have been an amazing father, I would have hurt Beth in the end. We both know it. I've only ever hurt or disappointed the people I love, no matter how hard I try not to. I am never quite good enough. Speaking of being a great father, if you've heard the letter to the Glee club you'll know that I had wanted Mr. Schue to be Beth's dad at one time. That was because I knew he'd be a great father, and I still think so, but that doesn't mean I never wanted you to be Beth's father. I am so glad she has you, because you are the father that I always thought Mr. Schue would be. You put her first, as shown by your courage to tell Shelby my plan, you love her unconditionally. I know you won't hold her to unfair expectations, you're so caring and gentle with her. You're an awesome father, Noah, never forget that. I hope you get the family you've been dreaming about. Noah, also don't blame this on yourself. It isn't your fault, please believe that. Finally I ask only two things. First please tell Beth that I loved her. That I loved her so much it hurt. That I left because I loved her so much and that it was the best thing for her that I go. Secondly, I've written her two letters, one to be given to her on her sixteenth birthday and one to be given to her on her wedding day. My mom has them, please give them to her. Also I guess a third thing is that you let my mom visit her. Beth is all she'll have left of me. My mom's made some mistakes, but I know she'll love and spoil Beth. I am so sorry for everything. Love Quinn."

Shelby was once again shocked by Quinn's letter. It was written with such remorse and love. Every word filled with an undying love for Beth. It was clear that Quinn did nothing but love Beth, the best she could. It hurt Shelby to know that Quinn thought the best thing for Beth was leave Beth's life permanently. Shelby felt guilty about this, because she had told Quinn that she didn't want her in Beth's life, that she didn't think Quinn was good enough for Beth. God there was that phrase, the one that popped up in both letters, Quinn's biggest insecurity, fear was that she wasn't good enough and Shelby had told Quinn exactly that. Shelby realized now how wrong she was though; Quinn wasn't not good enough for Beth. Quinn would be a great role model, should she pull her life together, should she get the help she needs, should she learn to love herself. Shelby knew that was Quinn's problem as well, Quinn didn't love herself, whether that was taught or a product of a long undiagnosed depression Shelby wasn't sure. Should Quinn wake from her coma, Shelby would do all she could to help Quinn. She'd let the girl see Beth, and maybe when Quinn was stable and better, Quinn could have a great relationship with Beth. Shelby prayed for it. She still wanted the family she had offered to Quinn.

"I don't know what to think or to say." Puck finally said turning to Shelby. Shelby pulled him into a hug. "First you listen to Quinn and realize that this wasn't your fault. Second when, not if, when Quinn wakes up, you be there for her. She'll need so much help, and I think she'll need you more than anyone else. We'll be there for her, you, me and Beth, because that is what a family does." Puck tightened his embrace on Shelby, "Thank you." He whispered. Shelby smiled. Things would work out, now they just needed Quinn to wake up.

* * *

><p>Judy stepped into McKinely high school for the second time in three months. She was once again on her way to the principal office, though this time for an entirely different reason than the first time. It had been an extremely long three months but Judy felt more at ease and happier than she had in ages. The school looked pretty much the same as it had the first time she'd come. The halls were still empty and quiet in between classes. Judy was glad about their timing. It would be much harder to do this if the halls were packed with hormonal teenagers. Unlike before Judy knew that this wouldn't be the last time she'd enter these halls. Glancing to her right she could see her daughter. Quinn was dressed simply in a pair of light blue grey skinny jeans and a plain purple tee shirt, and a white zip up hoodie. Her hair fell in loose golden curls down to her shoulders. Her makeup was light and natural. Judy was once again taken with how beautiful her daughter was. Judy knew Quinn would have been just as gorgeous even without the nose job, she'd let Russell convince her to let Quinn have. Judy regretted that decisions so much. It had only taught Quinn that her parents didn't think she was pretty enough, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth. Quinn was self-conscious about her looks now. Thinking people only liked her for her beauty, and bought beauty. Judy spent a lot of the past two and half months since Quinn woke up from her coma, remarkably with no side effects, telling Quinn that she was more than a beautiful face. And that her beauty wasn't bought. The plastic surgeon had done very little to Quinn's nose, and the amazing cheek and jaw bone structures that Quinn had were all natural, as well as her flawless skin and stunning eyes.<p>

Judy noticed that Quinn was biting her lip and twisting her hands nervously. Judy stopped and placed a hand on her daughter's hand. "You alright?" she asked gently.

"Fine, Mom." Judy sighed, getting Quinn to open up and be honest was still an extremely hard task, but Judy was learning how to encourage Quinn to be honest with her feelings. She squeezed Quinn's hand gently and smiled at he daughter, "Quinn, please."

Quinn sighed, "I'm scared Mom. What if they all hate me? I was so mean."

Judy shook her head, "That is in the past, Quinn. And you weren't nearly as mean as you think you were. Please, baby, forgive yourself, I know they have."

"But I haven't seen any of them except Puck, Santana, and Brittany, since, since" Quinn fell silent; she didn't like talking about her suicide attempt. They of course did because they needed to, but she still shied away from it unless in therapy. "That is only because we didn't want to overwhelm you Quinn. They have all been asking about you so much. Don't worry it'll be alright."

"What about the rest of the school. Everyone knows." She rubbed the thick bracelets that covered her scares. "Don't mind them Quinn, they don't matter."

Quinn nodded and they started back towards the Principals office. Quinn was definitely getting better, but it was a slow process, Judy just hoped being back at school would help Quinn rather than hurt her recovery.

They stepped into Figgins' office as the bell rang for the end of the period. "Miss Fabray, great to have you back." Figgins smiled and Judy relaxed.

* * *

><p>Will loved ending his day with glee club. He was always happier after meetings. Things were going amazingly as well. Since the two clubs joined together, the quality and creativity of their numbers seemed to increase daily. There were still hard days, especially in the two weeks they waited to hear if Quinn would wake from her coma or not. The day that Figgins had come into practice and told them that Judy had called and said that Quinn was awake and there were no side effects, was the first time he'd seen anyone in glee smile. It also helped that Sue was no longer campaigning against the arts, she'd actually dropped from the race, and was being much nicer to everyone in school. She still could be mean, but not nearly as mean as she'd been before.<p>

"Okay guys, it's time to start thinking about regionals. You all killed it at sectionals, but regionals will be much, much harder, so Shelby and I want to hear ideas for a set list by the end of the week." Will winked at Shelby who stood next to him. Quinn had been right, joining as co-coaches proved to be an amazing combination. There was a knock on the door and Figgins walked in. "Principal Figgins can we help you?" Shelby asked. Will's heart pounded a little. Every time Figgins came in Will feared there would be bad news about Quinn. "Yes, actually I have a student here who would like to join the club."

Will nodded, "We are always happy to have new recruit. They do have to audition though."

Figgins laughed, which was a first, "I don't think you'll need to have this student audition." He said as he waved someone in from the hallway. A smile grew on Will's face as a stunningly beautiful blonde stepped into the room. "I have no problem auditioning; I actually have a number prepared." Her voice was soft and hesitant, but had a happier tone to it, like it had when Will had first met the blonde. "Quinn!" Someone shrieked and Will laughed as Quinn was engulfed by a sea of teenagers. Will looked over at Shelby who was smiling widely. "Did you know she was coming back today?"

Shelby shook her head, "No, last I talked to Judy they were still up in the air about it. Weighing whether it was too early in her recovery or not."

Will watched as Quinn smiled brightly as Mercedes was dragging her further into the room, "Looks to be a good idea right now." Will wasn't sure he'd ever seen Quinn smile so brightly. Though he could see a shadow in her eyes, the girl still had a long road in front of her. Quinn stopped in front of Will after giving Shelby a hug. "Hi Mr. Shue." She looked down and was twirling her hand. "Welcome back, Quinn." Then he pulled her into his arms, wanting to express how much he cared for her. She was hesitant at first and then returned the hug. Gently he whispered into her ear, "I want you to know how much it means to me that you think I'd be a good father. I hope to prove you right one day." She pulled back and smiled at him. A small tear running from her eyes, Will brushed it away. "So you have an audition song?"

"Will she doesn't have to audition." Shelby said firmly.

"No I'd like too. A fresh start." Quinn admitted. Will nodded. He had an idea that this is what Quinn had wanted.

"Go for it Quinn. What song may I ask?"

Quinn blushed as she replied with "Fly me to the Moon, Frank Sinatra."

As Quinn finished, Will clapped loudly, it was truly one of the best renditions he'd ever heard, and Quinn's best performance ever. As Quinn took a seat next to Puck who pulled her into hug, Will couldn't help but think that the Glee club was finally complete, they had their Quinn back.

* * *

><p>Shelby leaned against the kitchen table as she watched Quinn and Puck playing with Beth in the Fabray's living room. They were currently blowing bubbles and Beth was loving running around popping them. Shelby thought back to the first time she'd visited Quinn in the hospital. It had been two weeks after Quinn had woken up, and the first day she was allowed visitors at the rehab facility Judy had placed her in. Shelby had debated about bringing Beth all morning but had eventually decided to take the toddler. Judy, who'd been a fixture in Shelby's house since Shelby went to her after finding out about Quinn's suicide attempt, had kept Beth out in the hall while Shelby had talked to Quinn. Quinn had never looked more fragile and vulnerable to Shelby. The girl had cried and apologized over and over to Shelby but never brought up Beth. Later Shelby learned that it was because Quinn never thought Shelby would ever let her see Beth again. They had talked awhile, Shelby had ordered Quinn to stop apologizing that she was forgiven and it was over, then they'd talked a little about what Quinn had been thinking at the time she'd made her plan. Then Shelby had told her that she had Beth in the hall and wanted to know if Quinn wanted to see the girl. There was an instant spark in Quinn's eyes as she hesitantly said yes. When Judy brought Beth in, Quinn perked up noticeably and smiled for the first time, according to Judy, since she'd woken up. Beth was so good as Quinn held her and played with her in her bed. Shelby instantly knew that it had been the right thing to bring Beth. Since then Shelby had brought Beth to see Quinn once a week. Then when Quinn was released to go home two weeks ago, Shelby continued to bring the toddler bye once a week. Everyone agreed that Beth was the major reason for Quinn's quick recovery.<p>

Judy refilled Shelby's glass of water before pulling seat across from Shelby. "How is she doing?"

"There are good days and bad days still. More good days since they got her antidepressants right; however she hates taking them, but she does for take them for Beth. Everything is for Beth." Judy admitted

"I know."

"Sometimes that worries me. That she is only doing all this for Beth; I want her to do it for her own happiness, too." Judy bit her lip nervously.

"I can see your concern, but I think of it as a jumping off point. Beth has got her started the marathon, and is perhaps the reason she'll finish, but eventually Quinn will realize the race is good for herself too. She'll feel happy enough days that she'll start accepting that she can be happy, and then she'll start to see other things make her happy too, and she'll want those things too. Eventually she'll finish the race not only for Beth but for herself too." Shelby knew she was right. She could see it sometimes. Especially in Glee when Puck was Quinn's dance partner. There was definitely something there, whether it was new, or had always been there, Shelby didn't know. But it was encouraging. Quinn was nowhere ready for a romantic relationship, but Quinn obviously cared for Puck a lot, and Puck cared for Quinn, he was like her guardian angel, always there to catch Quinn if she fell, to make her laugh, to hold her when she cried, and to rejoice in Quinn's accomplishments.

"I know I've said it before, but thank you for letting Quinn have a second chance to be in Beth's life."

Shelby shook her head, "I don't see it as a second chance. That Quinn, the one who tried to frame me, that wasn't the real Quinn." Shelby pointed to the girl who was blowing a raspberry on Beth's stomach, "That is the real Quinn, and she is just finally getting her chance." And it was beautiful to Shelby, it was moments like this that Shelby was confident that the best thing for Beth was to have Quinn in her life.

* * *

><p>Six years later<p>

Quinn stood in front of a full length mirror starting at herself; She couldn't believe she was here. There had been a time in her life when the only option that she'd had thought she had was death, and she'd nearly succeeded. But somehow by the grace of God, she'd survived. The struggle to pull herself out of the dark pit she'd fallen into sometime during her teenage years had been difficult and hard. She'd nearly relapsed six months after the suicide attempt after a particularly hard week, but the picture of Puck and Beth at Christmas on her dresser had stopped her and she'd collapsed to the floor, razors in her hand crying out for her mother. Judy had been there in an instant taking the blades away and just holding Quinn. Quinn had doubled her therapy sessions for months after that, but that had been her last attempt or near attempt. Amazingly she got into Lima community college before transferring to Philadelphia School of Art and Design where she majored in photography, a hobby she fell in love with while at the rehab facility. Everyone had been petrified at letting her move so far away alone. But Quinn had convinced them that she would be fine, that this was a step she needed to take. She had to prove to herself that she could survive on her own. Quinn had instantly fallen in love with Philadelphia. It had an old time appeal because of the old architecture, especially in Olde City, but also a modern young feel. It helped her school was in University City that held the University of Pennsylvania and Drexel University. She met a nice core group of friends, and had the time of her life in Philly.

That didn't mean she didn't have bad days or weeks, especially when she missed Beth and Puck so much it hurt. On those occasions she'd get a flight home as quick as she could and spend a week or so at home. Her professors were very understanding of her condition. However she'd only need to take advantage of that understanding three times in the three years she was at school, two of those times occurring in the first year. Now she was a staff photographer for LIFE Magazine as well as doing some freelance work. Her recent photographs of Napa Valley had been in National Geographic and a shoot she'd done of Rachel, now an up and coming star on Broadway, was featured in Vogue. Quinn couldn't be happier with her profession success.

However her true happiness lay in her family. Beth was eight years old and was a carbon copy of Quinn, much to Puck's dismay. Quinn had a great relationship with her daughter even though they didn't get to see each other as much now that Quinn was living in Philadelphia. People called her crazy for living there instead of New York, but Quinn loved that she could easily get to New York or Washington from Philly, and like she'd said she loved the city. She was also a photographer for LIFE magazine which means she could have an assignment anywhere. Quinn made sure that she made it home to Lima at least once month to see Beth for a week, and then Shelby usually let Beth visit Quinn for three weeks in the summer.

Besides Beth, there was Noah. After her suicide attempt Noah had quickly become Quinn's best friend and rock. It wasn't only because they shared a connection through Beth, no they'd developed their own relationship based on other factors other than Beth. It had been hard to leave Noah when she move to Philly, but both had agreed it was the right thing for both of them. Noah had gotten into Lima Community College as well before getting into Miami University of Ohio, where he walked onto the football team. He had a great career there and amazingly enough majored in criminal justice with a minor in psychology. He played four years at school, graduating a year after Quinn. Following graduation he moved to Philadelphia and in with Quinn, they'd begun dating in her sophomore year of college and first year at Philadelphia University of the Arts. He was now a police officer with the Philadelphia police department and was on the fast track for making detective. Quinn had never thought she would find someone who loved her as much as Noah did. She still couldn't believe that the love of her life had been literally in front of her face all the time. But both she and Noah would admit that they wouldn't have worked out if they'd started dating in high school, both need to grow up too much, and in Quinn's case she need to get a handle on her depression. She still struggled at times with it, and was still on anti-depressants, but it was way more manageable now.

"Mama Quinn, can I come in?" Beth called from the door.

"Come in in little bug." Beth ran into the room, she wore a cute cream colored tea length dress with a teal sash. Her golden locks were pulled back into a loose braid. "Oh you look beautiful baby girl."

"No Mama Quinn you look beautiful."

"She's right sweetie." Judy came into the room dressed in an elegant V-neck floor length sliver gown. "I can't believe my baby is getting married."

"To Daddy!" Beth yelled.

Judy laughed, "yes, to Daddy." Judy crossed to Quinn and kissed her cheek. "Your stunning Quinn, Noah will be speechless."

"We can't have that; I need him to say 'I do'." Both women laughed at this. Quinn looked back at herself in the mirror. She still had problems accepting her beauty, but she had to admit she did look great. She wore a long ivory gown with a sweetheart bodice, beaded slightly. It was an A-line gown with beading on the bottom of the skirt and a chapel length train. Her hair was up in and elegant loose bun and a small tiara at her crown. The hair style left her long elegant neck visible. Pearl drop earrings grace her ears and the cross necklace that hadn't left her neck since her grandmother had given it to her on her eighth birthday was temporarily replaced with a single diamond drop necklace which had an dainty thin silver chain. Quinn felt like a princess.

"Wow, Quinn you're gorgeous." Quinn looked up to see her former glee coach turned foster father, Will Schuester come in. Will and Quinn had developed a strong relationship during the last few months of her senior year at McKinely, as he helped her get through her toughest days at school. Then when she was at Lima Community College, she helped with glee club when she could, and she babysat, Elizabeth, Will and Emma's daughter (they'd gotten married in the spring of Quinn's senior year) who had been born during Quinn's year at Lima Community. They kept in touch when Quinn left for college. Will was the man she turned to when she need to talk to a guy.

"Thanks Will." Quinn blushed.

"Anyway time to start." Will came over and kissed Quinn's cheek, "Love you Lu." Lu was the nickname Will and Will only could call Quinn. He'd told her she needed to accept her life as Lucy, because it helped shape Quinn into the woman she was today. Quinn had told him he was right but that she truly just hated the name Lucy, so he'd started calling her Lu when he'd comfort her or when he was extremely proud of her. It helped Quinn reconcile with the girl she was in her youth.

"Love you too."

The wedding was perfect, with Will giving her away, Beth as a junior Bridesmaid, Santana as her Maid of Honor and Brittany, Rachel, Mercedes, and Quinn's best friend from college, Olivia as her Bridesmaids. Finn was Noah's Best Man, his groomsmen, Mike, Artie, Blaine, and Noah's partner at PPD Nick. Kurt had planned the whole wedding, so it was absolutely gorgeous. Quinn was so grateful for all her friends, and that they had all managed to stick together despite following their own paths. Brittany and Santana were still together and lived in New York and Blaine and Kurt were still together, they too lived in New York along with Rachel. She and Finn broke up two years after high school. Finn was a Lima man and everyone knew it. Tina and Mike broke up as well but were best friends. Mike lived in Boston and Tina in Columbus. Artie lived in Philly and was at law school at the University of Pennsylvania. And Mercedes was taking on LA.

The wedding reception was winding down and Quinn watched as Beth danced with Shelby on the dance floor. Quinn sighed, which instantly got Noah's attention. "You alright?" She turned to him and smiled, "Perfect, actually."

"What was the sigh then?" He was leaning close to her and pulling her onto his lap. Quinn loved it there. "Just thinking is all." She turned and looked at him, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Saving my life." He was taken back a seconded before he too smiled and lightly kissed her lips. "Then I should thank you as well."

"Why?"

"Cause you saved me long before I saved you, Quinn. If it wasn't for you, I'd never of grown up. You gave me a beautiful daughter, and then you let me in your life. No one had ever needed me like that before. I always felt helpless, useless, until you came along. I love you Lucy Quinn Puckerman." Quinn laughed, "I love you too, Noah Puckerman."


End file.
